You know what makes me anxious? Unmet expectations.
You too?
I find expectations very rarely help me meet my intentions to feel good.
Expectation, as I see it, is expecting something to happen, or someone to do something and having one’s feelings tied into the results. When expectations aren’t met, you feel disappointment, even outrage. When you have expectations and they aren’t met, which often happens, lack is felt.
May I offer you a high vibrancy, feel-good alternative?
Anticipation, on the other hand, is a feeling of wonderment and curiosity about what might happen. Think Christmas morning or birthday kind of anticipation. You don’t know what gifts you’ll receive but you know they’ll be GOOD!
It has nothing to do with expecting any sort of outcome. Rather, it is viewing your world with wonder and feeling a bristle of excitement to see how things will turn out. When wonderful things happen, you then feel immense delight and gratitude, and this begets more anticipation and more wonderful happenings!
So how can you avoid the pitfalls of expectation and skip merrily along in the wonder and encouragement of anticipation?
Avoid this ONE expectation tripwire: Comparison!
I know….I know…a topic that has been beaten to death here, there and on every wellness website everywhere!
Or has it?
For here is a bit of new comparison news for you: Comparisons precede expectations!
Are having an aha sort of moment?
For you can see how you may think,“So and so has such and such or has done such and such or is experiencing this sort of an experience in life!” This is quickly followed by the thought process, “Oh, how I wish that I was experiencing the same! And wait a minute, why am I not experiencing the same? I should be experiencing the same. I’ve worked hard! I’m deserving. That’s it! I’ve absolutely had it with this thing. By next week or next month or next year at this time, I expect that I will also have what so and so has. It’s past time, already!”
And then ensues quite a bit of huffing and puffing and sighing and feet stomping, and perhaps even a few slammed doors and sharp words.
Friend, in full transparency, this has been me on many, many, did I say many, occasions. It really is a part of being human, and yet, it leads to so much unhappiness. I think we can do better, yes? In fact, very often I was feeling just fine and dandy about the thing I now can’t believe I don’t have yet, right before I slipped into comparison!
Does that feel true for you too?
The moral of the story? Stop this whole cycle by avoiding comparisons like the proverbial “plague.” That way you won’t start down expectation lane—which is not an ideal place to be!
But you know that already.
Warmly,
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FEEL GOOD NOW
Dr. Dowling has spent years helping people live richer, more joyful lives. She has seen firsthand the magical pairing of psychology and life coaching, which allows people to access their happiest selves.
View Dr. Dowling's articles on Mindbodygreen
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