Hello, and welcome back to The Dazzle of the Day series! I am in great hopes that today’s “dazzle” will serve you as it has been serving me.
A dazzle is a high vibrational, happy event, circumstance, experience, affirmation, awareness or realization. Basically, a dazzle is anything awesome and of abundance that is worth paying attention to and reveling in. As we pay attention to awesomeness, we attract, do and become more awesomeness. For The Law of Attraction clearly states that like attracts like and we get more of what we’re focused on. Therefore, there’s no truer manifestation formula than: Feeling good thoughts + feeling good feelings = manifesting the desires of one’s heart.
And yet, what’s one to do when they’re not having feeling good thoughts or feeling good feelings and are painfully aware that’s the case? When one understands and believes in the importance of feeling good in the experience of all one desires, not feeling good can feel even worse! In this case, we’re feeling bad because of whatever has just happened and now we’re feeling worse because we understand that feeling bad does temporarily interrupt the flow of abundance and prosperity! This is exactly how I felt during a recent weekend, with Saturday being the most difficult of days. I was upset and I was upset and I was upset!
My four-year-old son started a fever. Parents out there understand what this means for any well intentioned work or social schedule previously planned. Yup, that’s right, it gets blown up and completely dismantled. Anything you have planned for you gets canceled or rescheduled or forgotten once again. Your child needs you, and you want to be there to see them back to health. And yet, at least for me, it also causes a flurry of upsetting emotions. I became a mother for the first time at 40 years old, and I find it’s a delicate balancing act of managing work, husband-wife, family, friends and good ol “me” time. It’s a house of cards, and one card out of place sends the whole structure careening to the floor. Leaving me to pick up the pieces and put it back together in a way that offers some semblance of equilibrium. It can feel like a lot of work and unfair and hard and difficult, I catch myself saying.
So how does one turn the ship around, so to speak? How did I slowly fish myself out of an emotional spiral bound to attract even more not-so-good-feelings and circumstances? Follow the below steps to guide yourself in the gradual process of going from feeling bad, to neutral, to good.
:: I let myself feel really upset for a period of time.
Rather than trying to force a not-so-good feeling away, compassionately allow yourself to feel upset. Know that when discomfort is felt as it arises, it will subside more quickly.
:: After a good pout and sulk, I set the intention to feel a little bit better. I said to myself: Well, you know what’s NOT going to help in the long run? Continuing to tell myself this is hard and difficult and unfair. Because what I want most is the whole experience to be easy and fluid and lined with good health and well-being for the entire family!
After which I said: I would like to feel a little bit better.
Which was then followed by the most positive reflection I could muster at the time:
I am where I am and that’s alright. I didn’t feel positive. So stuffing a bunch of feel-good thoughts and feel-good feelings down my throat wouldn’t have been believable, even if I tried. Authentically feeling good is key to the graceful manifestation of all one desires. For you see, The Universe does not respond to our words or to how we’re pretending to feel, but rather to how we really feel! Therefore, try as one might to “put on a happy face,” The Universe cannot be outsmarted. We must begin with the next best feeling, and sometimes, friend, that’s feeling a little less bad or neutral.
:: As the intention to feel better is set, begin to gently look for what you can and are willing to feel good about.
My husband took Aiden in to see the doctor, and I waited in the parking lot in a swirl of emotions about the health of my child and the week ahead. (During Covid, only one parent is allowed in with the child.) It was a sunny, crisp, winter day, and so I simply began walking loops in the Urgent Care parking lot. I acknowledged how good the sun felt, how lovely the white clouds against the blue sky appeared and how the big, deep breaths of fresh air helped clear my mind. Under my mask, I just kept repeating: I am where I am and that’s alright. Secretly thankful for the mask, as Covid still requires we wear them at this time, I repeated the mantra at an easy pace.
Oh, friends, it helped me so much, and I realized that this was my dazzle of the day! It was not what one might assume a dazzle must be: a promotion, graduation, marriage proposal, a winning lottery ticket. No, it was the next best feeling sentiment I could choose in the direction I truly wished to go but wasn’t there yet. It felt as if dropping down an emotional anchor in the moment. It stopped the negative, anxious spiral in its tracks, and as if in the eye of a storm, greater calm came about me. I could see that this storm too would pass. The more I could accept this moment as it was and remind myself of my ultimate “alrightness,” then truly I and my whole family would return to that state of being sooner vs. later.
Aiden is on the mend and doing well. I’m showering him with kisses and snuggles and lots of time spent being his monster truck and hot wheels play buddy! When an angsty moment comes over me this week, it’s my deepest of intention to repeat: I am where I am and it’s alright.
Knowing that then it will be all-right.
Xx,
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Dr. Dowling has spent years helping people live richer, more joyful lives. She has seen firsthand the magical pairing of psychology and life coaching, which allows people to access their happiest selves.
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